New Name

Today I am no longer me. To evade the long reaching arms of the one who sought to make me his, I was given a new name. A name that will prevent him from ever getting to me again. He saw me as I walked into his dwelling. He thought, “What beauty. I need to make her mine.” So he took one of my souls. It wasn’t until Me Shao brought my soul back that I became whole again. But, to continue to stay whole, a new name I should have. A new name I now have.

Grandfather came to our house to give me my new name. The new name that Me Shao said I should have. He called me to my new name. He presented me to the world with my new name. He told every spirit in every corner of my home that I had a new name. A name that I cannot tell you. Grandmother N told me, “If someone calls you by your old name, don’t answer them. You have a new name now.” Father, Mother, Grandfather, and the other elders, each tied a white piece of string around my left wrist. They whispered good things – may you be healthy and strong with your new name, may you prosper with your new name. And they supported me, arms stretched out, palms up, like mine, when Grandfather waved the bouquet of flowers in the crystal vase Mother instantly had an affinity for, and Grandfather, chanted the closing chant that finally bonded me with my new name.

It feels incredibly surreal to have a new name. My old name, which I’ve held for the past 27 years, is suddenly gone. No more will I be known by the name Grandmother gave me. A part of her is gone by the giving of my new name. I wonder if she knows? I wonder if she is happy that I have a new name? Though I think she understands, even if she may not like the new name.